Friday, August 21, 2009

Road shoulders optional

It was a beautiful day to be out on the open road. I do wish, however, that the open roads here in Ohio were a little more bike friendly. Now, admittedly, I am not on the prescripted Adventure Cycling circuit, but that doesn't mean one shouldn't be able to get places in this state on a bicycle. It's not like I'm on the Interstate highway -- that would be crazy (and illegal). I can't always be on truck routes, and yet no matter what road I take in this state, I have noticed 3 things:
1) there are a lot of semis,
2) there is rarely a shoulder, and
3) there always seems to be a headwind (regardless of what direction I'm going -- kind of reminds me of PA where it was uphill no matter which way I turned.)

Seriously, forget "Birthplace of flight" (North Carolina practically co-opted it anyway with its "First in Flight" tagline); Ohio's license plate should read "Road shoulders optional." This mental trajectory led me to fantasize about how I might change the license plates of each state I have passed through, with an eye to cycling:

Maryland -- We're sorry about Baltimore

West Virginia -- A hill for every hillbilly

Pennsylvania -- Land of 1,000 hills

Connecticut -- High property taxes mean nice bike paths

Massachusetts -- Our drivers are jerks

New Hampshire -- Beautiful scenery to distract you

Vermont -- You can't get there from here

New York -- Uphill both ways

You think I could land a job designing vanity plates with these alternative slogans? Maybe bike license plates. Which reminds me, I've been meaning to design one for Ollie: "Washington or bust."

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

3 comments:

  1. Your license plate slogans made me chuckle today as I biked on a shoulderless road to Baltimore, of all places. Although as a Pennsylvanian, I take offense that you only gave us credit for 1,000 hills. My Pittsburgh neighborhood of Squirrel Hill had at least that many.

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  2. We're sorry about Baltimore. Nice.

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  3. Now that you've made it through Goshen, any slogans for Indiana?

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