Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The lanes they are a-changin'

Come gather ‘round cyclists, if in DC you roam,
And admit that the dark clouds above you have grown.
Best accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone
‘Cause your raingear you’d left home this mornin’…
Well, you’d better start pedalin’ or you’ll never get home,
For the weather’s about to be stormin’.

Watch out for the cars double-parked in your lane,
And keep your eyes wide ‘cause they’ll park there again
(‘Specially if it’s rush hour and pouring down rain) –
Oh, there’s no tellin’ who just might door ya’!
For the taxi in front of you is likely insane,
And, oh, look, the weather is stormin’.

Come city officials, please heed the call:
How about a few bike lanes near the national mall
For those who’d get hurt from a serious fall
When a metrobus turns without warnin’?
So we can’t be a state yet, but please don’t drop the ball!
Oh, the weather? Thank global warmin’.

Dear pedestrians standing there right in the street,
Does that look like a safe place to stick out your feet?
Why not stand on the sidewalk, or in the crosswalk at least?
Oh, and now look, a bus queue is forming…
Please get out of the bike lane or you’re gonna get creased!
You’ve officially gotten your warning.

My advice has been given, my curses been said
(Though admittedly most of them just in my head):
Rather than swerve right at us, maybe yield instead?
What a concept, I know it sounds corny.
So butt out of the bike lane and let me please get ahead –
Hope this parody has been informing.
(I’m talking to you, drivers and pedestrians who think you own the street… Sheesh….)

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