Showing posts with label AL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AL. Show all posts

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Who gave that jerk a license?

Greetings from Alabama, land of the most reckless drivers in the country. Maybe in the world. Keep in mind that I lived in Kuwait, where it was not uncommon to see a car in a tree near the highway exit ramp.

Ollie has noted an uptick in muttered profanity in direct proportion to the number of vehicles trying to run us off the road. To channel some of the frustration, since it appears I can't report these jerks with no rear license plates, I think it's time for a few more rewritten license plate slogans from the past few states....

Texas: Are we there yet?

Louisiana: Where the stimulus money is clearly not being spent on road repair

Mississippi: When did the hills start?

Alabama: Our truckers make Massachusetts drivers look like boyscouts

Onward into Georgia, where at last we will be heading north in earnest! And I do believe we'll be there for the start of peach season. Lovely.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Southern discomfort

Okay, sure, I realize I am biking through The South in The Summer. Thunderstorms. Spandex that never quite dries out. Unrelenting heat. Fire ants. Aggressive truck drivers with partially consumed six-packs in the passenger seat. But seriously, with temps in the 90s and 95% humidity (and that's when it's not torrentially raining on me) every day, how do folks survive here? Southern Comfort and lime on ice is sounding pretty good right about now, climbing hill #78 (give or take 20 hills) since crossing over into Alabama. I'm having flashbacks to Pittsburgh or San Francisco or, heck, Big Sur as by the end of yesterday's ride I pushed my bike uphill and rolled it downhill (after deathgripping the brakes and squeaking down a series of screaming descents) the final leg to Seth's apartment.

And if the weather and hills weren't enough, Birmingham officially gave Aaron the middle finger yesterday: 2 wipe-outs, a murderous flat tire (with 4 separate slashes), a cracked iPhone, broken bike chain, and mangled derailleur. All unrelated incidents. Yeah, I know. Ridiculous. Thankfully none of these events involved an automobile (though not for lack of garbage trucks trying to run us off the road along Hwy 78). And thankfully my brother pulled through with a little tech support, giving me the number for a local bike shop after I frantically called him from the side of the road. An hour later, Roger had transported me, Aaron, the two bikes, and our gear (which completely filled his truck bed) over to Bob's Bikes, where the friendly mechanics not only fixed up Aaron's bike but also gave me a screw to replace the stick I'd been using to hold my rear fender in place. Now *that's* service.

At least the evenings have been nice and cool. And we've been spared serious attacks from the Mississippi state bird (aka the mosquito). I wonder, though, if the decline in bug bites is due to a lower resistance to OFF or an increase in my personal disgustingness since leaving Tupelo, MS....

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry